Choices

It's pouring outside now. It's beautiful to stare out the window, where the winds howl and rain crashes down, knowing that you are save in the comfort of your concrete establishment.

Haha.

I've decided not to work this holiday so that I can really spend more time with God and to take time to rest as well. =)
Hopefully I won't waste my time away watching tv.

Choices. Life is full of it. Simple ones like what I'm going to eat later with the guys at kovan to complicated ones.

When I typed the word complicated, I pictured this scenario:

Life isn't going to good, school's tough. Your friends seem far away at times, you don't know where you're headed spiritually, and things just don't feel that right anymore. Family isn't nice to you anymore, you fail half the tests you take.

You face many questions in life, you wonder whether running this race for God is worth it.

Well, the correct answer would always be "Aiyah, trust God la, He will help you through it."

Too many a times, those words feel like feathers upon our heavy heart. You wonder whether God's promises to you are true.

I've thought about it. And I look back at the times when I fell really really low. Was sulky and crappy most of the time ; thank God He picked me up out of the miry clay. It really was grace that pulled me up.

I seriously have no solution or method to help, but I can only pray that our eyes will be open to all that God has said in His word, and the many times He has pulled us up in the past.

Argh. If we only see what God sees.

Maskmen

It's so easy to hide behind masks.

Many times we remember the happy times of our lives, and try to forget the not so good times. It's all too easy. Pass each day and let life pass us by.

We tell others on our blogs, in conversations, on the phone that we're doing fine and life's great and all.

Ask any of your school friends, most of them will tell you life's dealing them quite a good hand.

Somehow, it feels like everyone's playing everyone in a mutual round of masquerade.

But it's true. Emptiness resonates clearly thru the hollow tube of life. No one admits it. Some hide it. Others fill it with activities, pursuits and pleasure. Yet all of these are like pumped-up balloons. Air begins to escape and the space is empty, again.

The truth is, only God can satisfy.

Whenever I'm not doing right with God, it seems life is very crappy, and really boring and meaningless. Haha.

But when I'm doing my quiet time and keeping up with God, that 'sense' of purpose fills me up.

God said He came to give us life and life in abundance. I sort of understand it now.

Comms Check

What happened to good old conversations over meals and the phone?

It seems these days, we can barely hold a serious and 'impartational' conversation among ourselves, not to mention our kids.

As I read the blogs of some others, I've realised that I've learnt so much more from them, than from speaking to the person himself. Hmm, speaks volumes of what transpires amongst us when we do go out.

Fun? Laughter? They are part of our fellowship. But there is and must be more than that.

Sad to say, I am a culprit of talking too much nonsense.

Well, can't tell our kids to call each other up and chat seriously when we can't even hold one amongst our peers.

Sometimes, I feel that as I get older, it gets harder to open up and show my flaws. Argh. No wonder they say adults are complicated.

Well, if this must start, it must start with me.

It wasn't too long ago.

Hmm, funny how much we change, over the course of a year.

Was reading a blog, and I realised how much that person has changed.

One year ago, I was teaching in Bedok Green. And now, I'm gonna start work again.

This time, I'll be facing computers instead. =)

The interview's at 954am tomorrow morning. Well, if God wills, I will take the job. =) Let's see whether the door's open.

I just waxed and polished and cleaned the car today. Took me a good 4 hours. I kept my word. Told my parents I would clean the car and my room after my exams. Still have another half to fulfill.

Time really flies.

Some things just aren't eternal. Better invest in the right things.