A quick word.

Haven't been blogging for sometime. I'm writing an e-entry because i'm lazy to pen my diary and i'm procrastinating; don't want to read my tax cases.

I'm halfway through my last lap in University. It's the term break now. There are a few major thoughts going through my mind.

School work's been pretty manageable. Learning to love my work, and mug because I love Jesus (Thank you Brother Lawrence for setting the pattern). Which is quite tough, especially when it comes to CONSOLIDATION.
Beware future accountants, because consolidation causes major confusion! It gets so frustrating. haha.

The biggest thought now is transition. It's uber major. And I'm quite looking forward to it, if i've not mentioned that previously.

Ok, back to McDermott Industries v Comissioner of Taxation.

Touched by the Greater

God has been speaking to me. And when He does, He turns you inside out and upside down.

Ever had the feeling of dissatisfaction, wondering what's the bigger picture in your life? Somehow, I felt life didn't serve up that great a purpose in mugging and working and the normal course of life. Deep deep inside, it was as if God was planting a seed.

First it was the hunger to see my friends and family saved. Then, when Ps Yang preached at Colours on Sunday, somehow, things fell into place. I was so gripped by what he was saying. I felt as if the Holy Spirit was looking through my facade into the deep recesses of my true feelings.

I felt as if, God had meant something greater than this. Honestly, I don't even know what to do about it. Quit my job? (kidding la!) Sell all I have and then go sit on the streets like Heidi Baker? Go full-time?

Don't exactly have the clearest picture. For now, there's a burning desire to strive even more to live for the eternal. I have been touched by the Greater.

GYM-craze + School

Well, school has started. And I've never felt more driven to do well, and mug hard. Well, that's partially due to the fact that if I get a B next sem, my honours will drop by one rung. I'm living on a thin thread. So this semester, I'm gonna give my best and mug very very hard!

Anyway, I'm doing this tax module on tax planning and all. The class is crazy! I feel "noob-ified" but the zai people in my class. But there seems to be this innate joy, excitement, desire, passion when I sit through the tax class.

Some people reading this might be going ," What?!! TAX?"

In retrospect, it was quite crazy that God would slant my decision towards a tax job. Now I know why.

Apart from that, it seems that this gym craze has possessed me. I've been feeling very excited about gym-ing these two weeks!!!

On a more introspective note, I need to learn to wait and be patient in many areas of my life. Like what Ps Lip said about making important decisions : "God if you don't speak, I won't move."

More 2009 resolutions

Ok here are some more "wants" to achieve in 2009. Won't call them resolutions, becuz I don't think I would have enough will, time, energy to follow through all of them.

1. Write more songs!! I must get down to writing songs. Or at least trying.
2. Study the Bible topically.
3. Read Chinese newspaper 15mins a day - this is a real challenge. But I must improve on my mandarin!

Ok that's about it. Anymore, and I don't think I can manage. =)

2009 Resolutions

After some thought, here are some goals I hope to achieve in 2009

1. Plant myself in Cornerstone - start serving, and owning the church! And availing myself for service. Think it's time.

2. Focus on God - making a conscious effort to choose Him, to obey Hi, to love Him above all else. I also want to draw closer to Him this year.

3. Grow in His word - I want to set aside time daily/ weekly to study God's word. Never got down to doing that on a routine basis last year.

4. Prioritise family! - I want to spend time with them! It might be tough, considering that I would be starting work in the 2nd half of the year.

5. To run the Stan Chart 42km marathon!

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009!

Goodbye 2008!

Time really flies. All I can do at this point on the very last day of 2008 is stand amazed at how the Good Shepherd has led me thus far.

What a tremendous journey this year has been. Looking back, I've experienced more grace, more freedom, more love and more of His presence. I bow in humility before my Maker for His grace, tenderness and patience toward me.

There are many things to thank God for, so let's see how the post develops. =)

1. Thank the Lord for planting me in a new church. I feel like some wild branch grafted into the Cornerstone vine. Haha. After 6months here, it's starting to feel more and more like home. Really grateful for Saturday Life, Sunday services, Daily prayer meetings, cell meetings, zone meetings, zone outings, and what not!

Another thing I'm grateful for is specifically the prayer meetings. The atmosphere at the prayer meetings were really overwhelmingly awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed singing and praying my lungs out, just seeking His face and bringing our requests before HIm.

2. Thank the Lord for shifting my perspectives about many things in life.

In particular, a pursuit of excellence. I've learnt that God is involved in ALL areas of my life, and that every area of my life must be lived for His glory! And what better way than to excel and pursue your best in each and every endeavour.

Secondly, I've also learnt to look beyond the four walls of church, the geographical boundaries of Singapore, and extend my sight to the nations. It's just awesome to see God moving in other nations. It's also a burden to carry the issues in the world upon our hearts. Really thank God for that.

3. Thank the Lord for more time with family. Can you believe it, my mum gave me a christmas present! This is unheard of in the Tay family. Haha. I've also realised that my mum talks to me more. My brother is also more vocal and speaks a lot more. (for those of you who have met him, if he speaks more than 10words to you, it's like a breakthrough!)

I could only thank God for this signs of breakthroughs in my relationships at home. I'm looking forward to being an even better example and a brighter light for the Lord.

So much for retrospect.

It's time to look forward and run. It's also time to leave behind all the baggage of my past. My sins, my failures, my mistakes and my wrong choices.

Really looking forward to 2009, a lot of things happening!

Hello 2009!

Everything in its time

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer, 
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Christmas @ Katong

Christmas at Katong is probably a significant marker in 2008.

I could sum up the past three days in 3 words - Corn, coins and company.

Corn -I have ran countless times, drove countless times ( been driven around ) to buy corn. Corn was such a hit and such a quick seller that we constantly ran out of it. Went once with Rachel, and we bought the wrong corn back. You see, the different type of corn came in similar packaging.

I didn't even realised it till we went back to the stall and Bee Har said," How come you bought cream corn?" Rachel and I looked at each other in shocked and amusement.

That was a classic moment.

Coin - I was in charge of handling the money and it is the first time in my life I have seen so much loose change and so much cash! The late nights counting the coins.

The first night was memorable - Junjie, Edwin, Ernest and I decided to count the cash in Edwin's car. I don't know why we came to such a decision. It was quite funny. All the easterners were waiting outside the car and staring in at 3-4 grown men fumbling with coins and notes.

We were taking ages to count, largely because I brought along too much lose change. The first day tally went something like 100x 10 cents, 40x5cents, ...

We couldn't find a 50 dollar note for quite some time, and I was panicking real bad. Jun jie finally found it, after we removed the tray from the cash register and found it lodged behind. Phew. What a relief!

Company - because through this whole bazaar thing, I saw dedication, sacrifice, toil and so much enthusiasm. I saw the tireless Edwin zip up and down in his toyota bringing ice, barley and drinks every morning. Bee Har manning the cash register with concentration and dedication. Ernest with his semi-stoned army face making cup corn, hotdog buns, and occasionally manning the register. Emma with her store designs and the badges that we proudly don on our dark colour tops.

Eunice, Wendy who were willing guinea pigs for corn testing and wii playing on thurs.

And the rest of the cell sweating it out in their plastic gloves (yes, wearing plastic gloves causes your hands to perspire).

There was the first day, where we didn't watch the bread in the oven and we charred it not once, twice but thrice! Louis and Deting trying to concoct secret ingredients to make the corn taste better - Louis added mayo, while Deting added MORE salt. =_=

Taking a photo of the hotdog - a last minute ditch to improve our publicity.

There was Ruth, our special guests and volunteer who stood in on Sunday! Kudos!

So much more unseen effort that many people have put in, too much to mention. Thought I better blog this, cuz it's easier than writing it with pen and paper. =P

Great work guys! haha. =)

And the work pays off! We made a good profit! =)

Putting the nails through the arms of my Master.

Been doing my devotions on Hebrews the past few days.
Was just reading Hebrews and felt really humbled by what was mentioned in Heb 6:4-8 about people who have fallen away.

I don't want to be the one that puts the Lord to open shame. I remember a line from a song that goes something like, "Do you still feel the nails, everytime I fail?" ,

The passage also goes on to mention about that even though the ground is watered, that it still yields thorns and thistles is a warning to me.

At the same time, the earlier promise in Heb 4:16 that comes to mind is, that as we draw near with confidence, we receive the grace and mercy needed.

Fraught with weakness, but held in the firm,strong arms of the Lord.

Success!

Today was my first try at making vongole pasta! It was a whack! =)

The correlation between singing and exam papers.

What a way to end with a bang! The last paper was a KILLER. I can't believe it was so difficult! The past year papers were smoke screens for the horror hidden in this year's paper!

I was panicking throughout the paper. I kept telling myself, die die, this one sure jia lat, wah the paper super duper hard, sian man...

I'm just glad that I managed to compose myself. And I did manage to finish the paper. Phew.

At 1115am, with fifteen minutes to go, I was smiling to myself. I just couldn't wait for the paper to end. The holidays are here!! =)

One thing that I realised that calms me done during my exams is singing to myself.

I would get this song in my head, and while furiously scribbling illegible my answers, I would sing the song.

Today's song was super appropriate for my killer paper. I was singing Divine Exchange. Haha.

Divine Exchange

The promise of God

2 Peter 1:3 - "seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence."

Just some food for thought.

God gives His power to overcome sin, to overcome life, to deal with every situation in life, to be able to excel in our workplaces, and yet attain to a godliness in our character, actions and thoughts.

It reminds me that whenever I strive to become more like Him. the source of power is God Himself. Now that's a really cool thought. It's like going for exam with the ultimate kungfu manual.

And God doesn't make it difficult for us to find this manual of answers, we don't need to go to some cave in some remote forest.

God is my Deliverer and my Provider.

God teach me to apply all diligence as your Word says so.

It's the relationship that matters.

It's quite funny how over the course of this week and the weeks before, I've been asking God really fundamental questions about life. Questions like : What am I here for? What is my purpose in everyday living? They seem to be pretty prominent in my thoughts recently.

I've come to a point where I wonder about my purpose in existence, and the meaning and relation to God in the daily activities that I do.

Ever since leaving my old church, I've been serving way much less than before. And in this period of rest, minimal ministry stuff, it seemed as if God was stripping it down and allowing me to rediscover.

I just had zone meeting on Friday and the eyes of my heart popped out when Newson said this, " Everyone will ask three basic questions in their life. One, "Who am I?" Two, " What am I doing?" And three, "Why am I doing?" It's quite cool how sometimes, when God speaks to you, He really hammers the nail at the exact spot.

If I could sum up what I go out of the sharing, it would be the word 'relationship'.
I wondered why I couldn't see it. It was as if on Friday night, my blind eyes were open ( Bob Mendelsohn shared about the blind man today =) and I suddenly understood.

Learning to make christianity a relationship and not a job. =) It's not about performance!

And so I've decided to rediscover my relationship with God. It's like a second honeymoon, for a lack of a better expression. =P

The year of shaking and thoughts on true fellowship

I've realised more and more that this is really a year of shaking for me.

God really wants to strengthen the weak areas in my life. This year, I've come face-to-face with the big issues in my life. I can't help but look back at the past 10months and go "Wow, so many things have happened!"

One thing caught my attention during the T&E class yesterday. I felt God tell me the need to keep standing upon the convictions and prompting of the Holy Spirit.

It doesn't matter what other people do. If God told me to stop doing it or start doing something, I must obey!!!

I think one thing the Lord has really convicted me of this season is my relationship with people.

I tend to put on different sets of glasses for different people. Some people get the "Everything you say is not credible" glasses, some get the "Too serious" glasses while some get the "Avoid at all cost!!!!!!!" pair of specs.

And I realised that everything they say or do is filtered through the lens of biases I've formed.

This affects the way I respond to people.

So I really want to learn to treat others with gentleness and respect, and season my speech with salt. Learning to put on Jesus' spectacles of love, impartiality and grace. More and more, I feel the need to be an edifier, rather than a discourager or more bluntly put a pain in the neck. True fellowship, speaking into one another's lives must become part of my speech!

Time to remove the specs and put on God's contact lens.

Second Chance

Just finished attending T&E- Elementary Truth 202.

It was as if God was letting me "lay again" the foundation of basic truths as Hebrews 6:1-2 puts it.

I really want to make it right this time. Looking back, I feel I have neglected a lot of basic things in my christian walk.

This is my chance to make it right. Today at T&E, the teacher was talking about making decisions. It was as if God has presented me another chance at 'starting over'.

Ps Yang was talking about a kairos moment. I think this is mine.

Signed, sealed, delivered

Today was the day I signed my first contract to my first job! =) By the grace of God, I'm employed! =)

It was an interesting start to the day. I actually woke up LATE.I was quite panicky this morning - had to be there at 10am. When I opened my eyes, it was 905am! Gosh. Thank God I made it there by 10.05am.

I feel that I as I take up this job, it's as if I've taken up a entire new way of making decisions in life.

I guess this is how I want to live, always looking towards Him ,and waiting for Him to speak.

On the train ride back home, it occured to me that in the future, decisions would be bigger, with bigger consequences.

It was as if God puts me through a series of tests to see how I react. =)

This is my surrender God.

Inexplicable.

It's funny how sometimes I doubt God will speak to me regarding major decisions in my life.

We always say, pray about it, think about it, and then see how. I've always wondered how God speaks to me about decisions in my life.

Recently, I had to decide on the choice of my first job. This experience has taught me much about trusting God and obeying Him in my decisions.

The wise move for an accountant would always be to choose audit in a Big 4 firm or any accounting-related work in any corporation, so that he could get his CPA certification and go n to do others.

On Saturday night, I had actually emailed a company stating my interests to join their audit dept. I could not sleep the whole night! Before that, I had this uneasiness regarding my choice. Somehow I felt I should have spent more time asking God, instead of hastily emailing the HR contact.

And so, once again ,God was right, and I was foolish. Could have saved myself much distress regarding this matter.

I have finally decided to just choose tax, because somehow I feel most strongly God wants me there. =)

Through this experience, the conclusion of the matter is : pray until I feel God says yes.

Roms 2:4

This verse struck me yesterday when I went for 202.

The teacher was speaking on true repentance and she was saying that repentance is a gift from God. =)

May it never be said of me, that I lose the humility to repent and to ask God to change my thinking or behaviour.

Initially, i thought that I could have better spent my time at prayer meetings, cuz I had sort of learnt those stuff again. Oh man! wat pride!

At the class, I was awed and super humbled. Becuz I realised that I had taken the word for granted. =S

"What are the elementary truths mentioned in hebrews 6?" was the question I found myself unable to answer.

What contempt on my part!

In this season, thank God for chances to start anew. Like this. =)

The walk

Think the thing that has really struck me this few days, is that my walk with God is of utmost importance.

Don't know why, it's so fundamental, yet it has strike a chord within me. Was reading Dr Brian Bailey's book on the Journey of Israel, and he did mention somewhere that God has not called us to do ministry, but also to a relationship with Him.

At prayer meeting, someone went up and said that God has to prepare our character so that we can assume the responsiblity of ministry..

I was serving and doing quite a lot of stuff in my previous church. At the moment, I'm pretty much free in cell and not serving in any ministry. =)

And in this season of receiving and recuperation. I find myself being challenged in the basics of my walk wiith God. The basics of reading His word, praying and worshipping Him are things that I feel must become the most important in my life again. =)

Help me Lord!